Monday, June 1, 2015

State of Mind

Still searching. I may have found it. I may have not
I may have stumbled upon the wrong one(s)
One second I thought I may have developed feelings
But the next, it just is not there
I know fate has written for each and every one of us
But what if I end up with the one that I am just not crazy about?
And what if the one that I am crazy about is not crazy enough about me?
Do I overthink?
Sometime.

But when I do not
Things just go wrong
When I thought I am the happiest living thing alive
Life would prove to me that I wouldn't be
I am not blaming anyone
Maybe it's just me

Ya Allah, what is happening to me?
Why have I become so heartless?
Why am I always in doubt?
I am not in doubt of the Creator
Of course He knows best
Of course everything is already planned out
I am not suffering from any illness or any mental devastation
I am not thirsty for love either

I am always so happy when I see people settle down
But the question is, will my turn come anytime soon?
That is for God to know and for myself to find out.


Muhasabah diri, dear self
Muhasabah diri and just let things flow by itself.